Whatever you may be doing,you are not meditationg.Meditation is just being,being still,thoughtless,imagineless.You just cannot see anything in meditation.There is no thinking,no seeing there.
In any case you have made a beginng towards meditation by sitting,and trying to be with the self.Keep trying.All these experiences are just hallucination.These may be possible because you are away from the self for decades,and now when you are moving back on the path different feelings,emotions may be encountered.Do not bother about them,and move ahead.In any case there is no scope for scare or fear.You are moving towards God,and He will take care of your state.Otherwise too,He is taking care of you.Why to be fearful?Go ahead,and fall in His lap.Rest you leave to Him.
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