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Hi, I just joined the forum to share an amazing and terrifying experience that I just had that I think members of this community might be able to help me with. I have a familiarity with the basics of meditation. I have sat and repeated mantras or focused my thoughts on a single image in order to clear my mind, but that is about as far as my meditation experience goes. I do not practice often, unfortunately. As a note of warning, my experience is considerably sexual; so, if that bothers you you may not want to read.
This morning while lying in bed, I felt the urge to masturbate. I did so, and once achieving orgasm, I simply laid back with my legs crossed and head tilted upward slightly on a pillow. I began to focus my mind on the feelings felt in all my limbs. I both felt as if blood and chemicals were running through my veins, but my limbs also felt very stony and dead. I closed my eyes and simply focused on the feeling of my body. I was very mindful that I did not want to fall asleep. While lying with my eyes closed I began to focus on the obscure and abstract images floating before my eyes. Slowly the images became more and more concrete. I was seeing from the perspective of places i normally walk in town. More and more frequently, my vision would sort of "jump" forward in space (this was accompanied by a shrill kind of metallic sound) I began seeing strange things (such as a man climbing a light-post and jumping off of it), but I was somewhat in control of my vision (though I could not help when the "jumps" occurred).
All the while I was seeing these things, I could still feel the stony weight of my body. I felt incapable of moving, but was still aware of my physical presence. My vision shifted to strange and seemingly alive tunnels. It was as if I were moving through my own veins. The "jumps" became even more frequent. At this point I tried to control them, but I could not. Suddenly I gained almost complete control of my vision and imagined myself in a kitchen (vaguely familiar, as if from my childhood somehow). Being mostly in control, I asked myself what I should do. I started fooling with windows and then imagined a girl was in the kitchen with me. I know this girl in real life, but we are little more than acquaintances. I began sort of caressing her and decided that since this was own vision, we might as well make love. She appeared more than happy about it, and we began having sex on a table.
At this point I became aware that my body began to feel more active. I felt slow vibrations in my limbs, but I did not get an erection. As the sex became more passionate, so the vibrations of my body increased. My head began vibrating strongly as well. The feeling became so intense that I was terrified. I did not know if I was about to climax (I still was sure that I did not have an erection) or simply die. I focused all of my attention on my body in an effort to come out of this trance, but it was extremely difficult. I could not get the vision (which was still very pleasant) out of my head and wake up. I felt like my whole body was vibrating intensely and struggled to open my eyes. I almost completely opened my right but my left remained mostly shut. At this point I had raised my head very far from the pillow as I was straining to regain consciousness. At this point I was actually convinced that I was about to die - I didn't know if it was a stroke, a heart attack, or simply my mind killing itself, but I didn't think I was going to survive. I finally let go of struggling and began breathing very heavily. I'm not even sure if I had been breathing the whole time, but when I began breathing heavily I finally snapped back into the physical world and, once my breathing slowed, I felt very calm and awake.
Has anyone had a similar experience? Any suggestions? I kind of want to try again, knowing that I survived the first time. The visions were very strange, but incredible at the same time. I thought my body was going to die, but I had more feeling than ever before. I'm just really not sure what to do now. Thanks.
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vir
Instructor
Posts 1523
Points 1940
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To me the experience appears to be just trick of the mind.Nothing of this sort is possible,if the mind does not cooperate,whether you masturbate,discharge,or caress.It is all imagination,some pleasant,some unpleasant.Keep having the pleasant ones,and exclude the unpleasant ones.
When you do not want to move a limg,you do not;when you want to move,you move,
'If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right.'
Henry Ford
I find nothing unusual in it.Have pleasant imaginations and enjoy.Body is too good a machine to be detrailed so easily. .
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